if i thank the fish i eat,
my spirit, as well as my body,
will be nourished.
(charles & bettie chu, 1989)
there are benefits to being a morning person. for one thing, the sky turns a special intensity of blue reserved only for us early risers. then there are the quiet things you happen on when no one else is looking. sometimes these things change you forever. even as a groggy, sleep-deprived undergraduate, something within would jolt me awake no later than 7 a.m.. for as long as i can remember, i took walks in the morning. it was a way to pass time until the rest of the human world rose and joined me. on one walk across my college campus, i noticed the small figure of a man several yards ahead, caressing the katsura tree i had admired mostly for its remarkable name. as i drew closer, i heard his voice. he was confiding in the tree.
because he spoke in chinese, i had no idea what was being uttered. but the companionship between the man and the tree was unmistakable, even in the invisible halo i crossed into. when he noticed me, he grabbed my hand and looked at me with eyes full of water and light. they were jolly. "we are friends!" he said. to this day, i don't know if he was referring to me or the tree.
but we did become friends, this old man and i. i learned his name was charles chu, a poetic name i enjoyed even more than katsura. he was professor emeritus at the college, founder of its chinese program, and also a renowned chinese brushwork artist. we continued to stumble upon each other on morning walks, and in my senior year i wrote a poem for him about daffodils we had gazed at together. my gesture inspired a flood of letters and paintings exchanged after i graduated and moved back to california. charles passed away on october 30, 2008.
one of his letters was enclosed in a notecard with a painting of a lone fisherman (another morning person?). its inscription was the work of charles and his wife, bettie. i repeat it here, as i did above, because it is lovely each time: if i thank the fish that i eat, my spirit, as well as my body, will be nourished.
gratitude is a feeling, yes. i would go so far as to say it is a sensation i value above all others. in charles i learned gratitude is an action. he expressed gratitude through loving, patient care. or maybe he dynamically cared for something and this cultivated gratitude. i will never know, but i'm certain he meant to keep me wondering.
happy thanksgiving.
care for each other.