toast is such a splendid word. it can mean bread that has gotten an attractive makeover in color and texture. toast is hot, and not just because it is served warm. then there are toasts, our robust expressions with glasses raised high. the sentiment shared need not be celebratory, or even kind, though those things are generally well received. i think the only requirement for a decent toast is an emphatic delivery. it’s an art to be honed. i suggest you practice with your glass of orange juice in the morning.
with new year’s eve upon us, i share a poem of toasts. i lifted it from my undergraduate honors thesis. i was quite proud of it at the time and wondered why keg parties didn’t included more toasts amongst the toasted. a recipe for something pink and bubbly also follows. it will look quite nice raised way up into the air.
Collected Toasts, Occasions Variable
A mug, what a clever invention!
Although you are obese, you are obese!
Drink to my new tattoo, it says Grog!
For all the times you had spinach in your teeth and I didn’t tell you!
For the men and women who frisk us before we enter!
Here’s to Indiana, a state!
Here’s to your tongue, may it lick many a thing!
Here’s to your tonsils, wherever they may be!
Ladies and Gentlemen, take a bath!
Love, how monosyllabic, how easy to spell!
Let the night involve nudity, or at least partial nudity!
Let the world never stray too far from its orbit!
May you always wear hand-me-down nightgowns!
May you never drink without your mouth adequately open!
May you never own a dog that is more attractive than you!
May you roll in a fluffy pile of feathers!
Thank the Lord for paddleboats!
Thank the Lord for wine, without which there would be too many grapes!
To our health, wealth, and ability to wiggle!
pomegranate fizz
(serves 6)
½ cup granulated sugar
½ cup water
¾ cup fresh pomegranate juice, chilled
¼ cup pomegranate arils (optional)
1 bottle champagne or sparkling mineral water, chilled
place the sugar and water in a small saucepan over medium heat. gently cook, stirring from time to time, until the sugar is completely dissolved. set aside the simple syrup to cool completely.
when ready to serve, add 2 teaspoons of the simple syrup, 1 tablespoon pomegranate juice, and a few pomegranate arils to each champagne flute. Top with champagne or sparkling water for a non-alcoholic version. disperse glasses immediately. bottoms up!
notes
* you can replace the champagne in this recipe with sparkling wine, prosecco, or cava
* adjust the amount of simple syrup and pomegranate juice to your taste